I left Jayden in the walker today so I could go to the toilet and settle some stuff in the kitchen for a few minutes.
It really was a few minutes.
When I got back, this was what I discovered.
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Left leg |
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Right leg |
Horrors of horrors. Mosquitoes bit him! I cannot tell you how angry or upset I felt. Ok I can. I was VERY ANGRY. Gahhhh. And my heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces.
*Throws fist into air* Lousy mosquitoes!
Then it occurred to me. I was helpless. There was only so much I could do to protect my son.
And this verse came to mind. (Easter just a few weeks ago and one of the meditations during the week).
Luke 2:19
But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
For context, it was during the birth of Jesus, where He was laying in a manger in a stable and shepherds came to worship Him after angels told them. And Mary kept these things in her heart.
Mary must have felt so overwhelmed by it all. I knew I was. To be honest, I had a difficult 9 months carrying Jayden. Morning sickness is not morning sickness I tell you. Its day and night sickness. It was the worst nine months of my life. And don't get me going on after the delivery.
Initially, I was more overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for such a fragile being than overjoyed with the fact I had a baby. It was tough. The bundle of joy was a bundle of fear. Motherhood only started being enjoyable after a few months, when I saw Jayden growing (phew) and getting stronger.
Its a lot of hard work and dedication being a mother (and I've only been a mother for 8 months! God have mercy on me).
Fast-forward 30 years later when Mary stood by the cross where her son, Jesus hung. What pain she must have felt in her heart. My heart ached when I saw Jayden's mosquito-bitten legs. Mary must have felt much much worst to see her son die a torturous, painful death.
What Jesus did on the cross was REAL. It was very very real. He was somebody's son just like Jayden is my son. He had a mother who grieved watching him suffered.
Jesus was real. He walked among us. He was one of us. And he died for us.
The mosquito incident really made me realise, that one day, Jayden will have to face the world himself. I can't control his environment, the people he will encounter and the circumstances he will be in. And some of these will be unpleasant.
As I ponder these things in my heart, I take comfort in the words of this familiar hymn, favourite to some (*cough* Mr *cough* Hoh).
How sweet to hold a newborn baby, and feel the pride and joy he brings,
But greater still, the calm assurance: This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.
Chorus:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know (echo: I know) He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives.